Astounding FaithFULLness

Do you ever get that lonely feeling inside? Like you just want someone to love and hug; someone who will always be there for you? Do you ever feel like the only thing that could possibly fill that is a significant other? And think “oh that’s normal. We all desire relationships. And when they make you feel so good, how could they not fill that void”? Hmmmm...yeah me too. I even used to feel justified in thinking this way and wishing I had what this couple or that couple had. I would honestly tell myself that this was a good feeling. But one day I realized I was thinking all wrong. Not only that, but this way of understanding my desire for love was making me act in unhealthy ways while in a relationship and think about relationships and singleness in an unhealthy way while not in one. It’s still something I struggle to not believe and I want to pour some truth into those feelings just as I need it to be poured over me at least once a week. So what is the truth and what changed f...

I’m moving 8 hours from home in a few weeks. I’m not just going to college where I’ll have breaks and summers off, I’m actually moving. I’ll be there for at least five years. In the last few weeks it’s started to hit me that I really am moving. As I explained that this morning after church to a dear friend of my mother’s, she was confused by the large smile stuck on my face. She could tell the heaviness of the reality that I was sharing with her. But despite that, I couldn’t help but smiling. And that got me thinking. Was I emanating happiness because I am glad that I’m leaving? That is definitely not the case, as I will miss my friends and family dearly and leaving will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Is it because I’m in denial about the reality of it all? Nope, not that. I’m pretty aware it’s happening as it’s coming up pretty fast. Was I trying to save face and put on a brave front? I don’t think so. One can usually read my emotions from my face like a book. So what was ...

A dear friend of my mom had her mother pass away yesterday. When I saw her today, she shared a story with me about the day that her mother died. The woman had been unable to eat or drink or really move at all for at least a week. Her family was surrounding her hospital bed and there were rosary beads hanging above her and a second set wrapped in her hand. The praying of the rosary was playing aloud and as it ended, the room began to smell like roses. As her breathing got slower, she raised her hands and head toward the sky as if she was seeing the light above her and she breathed her last breath. This story and this image really sank deep in my heart. It made me think- how could we deny that she was heading home to her father in heaven? Stories like this help me to know even more so that our God is real and he is the way, truth, and life. And if he is real and he is calling us to live for him today then why don't we? Instead of waiting for that moment at the end of our live...

Do you ever feel like you’ll never forgive yourself or be able to move on from this or that sin? You know that God forgives you wholly when you repent and know that He has grace and mercy beyond your wildest imagination, but you still can’t shake feeling bad and guilty? You live in the doubt that you’ll never be able to remove this from your “permanent record” with God? If you can’t forget about it, then how will He ever forget about it? When something reminds you of your mess up (a song, TV show, social media, etc.), you let the lie creep in that God’s grace doesn’t reach that thing you’ve done and that it’s a little too much for Him to forgive? Or you believe you’re forgiven by God but you just can’t shake feeling shameful around your friends and others thinking “if they only knew...”? I’ve been struggling with these feelings, so I wanted to share some truth and encouragement from Psalm 51 that really excites my heart and gives me hope. I came upon the task of reading this psal...

We have a God that tells us to surrender control to Him. But we also live in a world that tells us surrender is a sign of weakness. We feel like a failure for waiving the white flag. We are told to hold onto control and rely only on ourselves. We have a white knuckled grip on the things we have and our plans. God's message is so simple- surrender. No trying to convince us, no smoke and mirrors. Simply the promise of a better day and a brighter future. How do we focus on such a simple message when life and the world around us are so loud and distracting. And if the world tells us all these things, how does it make sense that surrendering and listening to God's simple message will actually lead to freedom. These messages are contradicting, right? For a while I was living with white knuckles on my life, but as I have learned to live a surrendered life, I have gained an immense joy and a wonderful freedom. So how has surrendering played a role in my life? Rewind about t...

I have had a calling on my heart to share Jesus in some way for a little while now. I’ve spent a lot of my time over the last few months really digging into my faith and growing in my heart and getting to know Jesus. As I’ve been in this growing (and waiting) season, I have developed more and more of a desire to reach beyond myself. I’m a chemist and not a writer so the idea of writing a blog has been one that I tried to tuck away and convince myself wasn’t where I was being led. However, I remember reading a friends blog in which she said that we all have a story that is worth sharing and that has really stuck in my head for a while. On a particularly faith forming and life changing night, I was participating in praise and worship in the chapel of the catholic center on my campus. It was young adult night and there was a group from Net Ministries there that was staying at the center. As I was praising my Lord in adoration and sobbing, full of emotions, one of the missionaries n...