Why are you smiling?

I’m moving 8 hours from home in a few weeks. I’m not just going to college where I’ll have breaks and summers off, I’m actually moving. I’ll be there for at least five years. In the last few weeks it’s started to hit me that I really am moving. As I explained that this morning after church to a dear friend of my mother’s, she was confused by the large smile stuck on my face. She could tell the heaviness of the reality that I was sharing with her. But despite that, I couldn’t help but smiling. And that got me thinking.

Was I emanating happiness because I am glad that I’m leaving? That is definitely not the case, as I will miss my friends and family dearly and leaving will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Is it because I’m in denial about the reality of it all? Nope, not that. I’m pretty aware it’s happening as it’s coming up pretty fast. Was I trying to save face and put on a brave front? I don’t think so. One can usually read my emotions from my face like a book. So what was it? That despite the anxiety worthy situation I was describing I was still peaceful, joyful, and composed. And not just on the surface but deep down inside.

Something that comes to my mind is a verse I have always held in my heart since I was a kid. In Jeremiah 29:11, the Lord declares, “surely I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”. The thing about God is that he isn't like us humans, if he give us a promise, he will come through. He means exactly what he says and he will do exactly as he has promised. And he says here that he has my future in his hands and he wants to make me grow and be successful. The other cool thing is that he doesn't say “Emily I have plans to prosper you and give you a hope and a future... in New Jersey” or “...as a chemist” or “in a relationship with X” or insert any other situation. He gives no stipulations for this promise either, about where we are located, if we have this job or that job, if were in a relationship or if were single or in a relationship with this person or that person. He will give us a hope and future wherever we are now,  whatever path we take and wherever life takes us.

As I was considering my future direction (job or grad school, New Jersey or Indiana or North
Carolina) six months or so ago, I read a book called “the Lipstick Gospel” by Stephanie May Wilson. It really didn't take long for this book to hit me. On the first page was a verse from Habakkuk, a book of the bible I’m not even sure I knew existed. Within the first few pages, Stephanie had described what the verse meant to her and it didn't take much longer for the verse to be one of my favorites. Habakkuk 1:5 exclaims “Look at the nations, and see! Be astonished! Be astounded! For a work is being done in your days that you would not believe even if you were told” (NRSV). This verse got me super excited. God is essentially telling us to look at the things he is doing, in our lives and all around us, and see how he is working. He is going to do things beyond our wildest dreams. So if me moving to North Carolina is part of that work he is doing, I believe that I will be astounded by what he will do with that move. The work he does will be better than I could believe if I was told and I might not understand now, but God’s got my future. So why should I worry?

There is also good news about my worries. Because, yes, I do have some worries and I am nervous at least once a day. But there is an exciting truth about living with Jesus inside of your heart- He takes away these worries. I have really let the words of The Way (New Horizon) by Housefires sink deep into my soul in those times of fear. “Its a new horizon and I’m set on you. And you meet me here today with mercies that are new. All my fears and doubts, they can all come too. Because they can’t stay long when I’m here with you”. As long as I’m with Jesus and he’s part of my future, he will remove my doubts and anxieties day by day. That's why this is all so cool and comes together. God tells us that he has amazing plans for us and he holds our future, but that doesn’t mean we have to be fearless on our own. We can rely on how powerful he is which means that when were with him our fears don’t get to stick around.

So if there is something in your future that makes you tremble and makes you nervous, know this truth. Let Jesus in and let him know that you trust his plans, you trust where he’s taking you and what he will do with your future. I pray that wherever you’re heading next whether it be tomorrow or in a few years, you would have joy despite the fear and doubt of what is to come. That you would go to Jesus despite all of the uncertainty and let him eradicate all of those worries with his truth and promises and love.

I don’t know about you, but at this point I’m thinking how could I not be happy?

Ps. If you want to read the Lipstick Gospel by Stephainie May Wilson, which I highly recommend, click here. Also, if youd like to hear my new favorite song by Housfires and let the music fill your heart with truth, click here.